Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is "I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that "BloodRayne" has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres." The criticism goes on and on.

Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, "TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!"

Before we go any further I'd just like to ask why can't Stephen Sommers or Paul WS Anderson or Jim Wynorski follow this man's lead?

Towards the end of the filming of "Postal" the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/stand-in in "Postal" and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.

To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to:

info@boll-kg.de

All challengers must be healthy males, weighing between 64 kilograms (140 lbs.) and 86 kilograms (190 lbs.). You will require to be physically examined by a doctor and sign the necessary release forms for liability, etc. You will not be paid or entitled to any residuals or fees. Your transportation & hotel costs will be covered.

Dr. Uwe Boll’s invitation to fight and/or appear in his film is extended to all his harshest critics. Roger Avary and Quentin Tarantino are among the most eligible candidates.

The following posters to the IMDb have earned the right to be placed on the list of the most extreme anti-Boll critics and are therefore eligible to enter the contest. Contestants will be chosen to be an extra and physically box Dr. Uwe Boll.

Headhunter004

Adultswimlover2

Evolution_500_2

Greatnates

thedoomsdaybegins

GunnerySergeantNumbnuts

Murdoc995

AimeeBrookes

ChineseOldMarketMan

GabeLogan9060

Veedragon40

BigSexy77

TylerDurden52

Dan223-1

howdy4641430-1

If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it.

I'm telling you right now that someday someone in Hollywood is going make an ED WOOD-esque biopic about the career of Uwe Boll and it is going to be one of the greatest motion pictures of all time. Hopefully for him, this (Publicity stunt? Final peak of insanity?) won't lead to the movie having a finale along the lines of THE CHAMP.

It does seem odd that Boll would go this route considering this question from my pre-ALONE IN THE DARK interview with the man himself:

TF: Taking a cue from the movie Fight Club, if you could fight anyone, who would you fight?

UB: I boxed 15 years in a club. BAYER LEVERKUSEN, where people like "THE TIGER" Michalczewski or FELIX STURM (lost in Las Vegas fighted also.) I got a spinal cord accident and got a platinum disk in my neck finally. So I fighted enough and don't do movie show fights.

Hmmmm... Maybe he really is looking to write that last chapter? Or mabe this is more of ROCKY 6 scenario where he just has to come out of retirement for one last fight - or five? Or he's just hopping mad and batshit insane? At this point, who knows? I would like to volunteer my services to play the Rob Schneider role of sitting in the stands during these fights and repeatedly yelling, "Come on, Uwe! You can do it!"

THIS HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM THE UWE BOLL EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM! PLEASE TAKE THE APPROPRIATE SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND AWAIT FURTHER UPDATES!