The 2001 action thriller BEHIND ENEMY LINES starred Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman in the tale of a fighter pilot shot down behind enemy lines in war-torn Bosnia trying to survive long enough to get rescued. I never saw it myself. I recall it was originally intended to be based on a true story until Hollywood decided the true story wasn't flashy enough and fictionalized the whole thing to be more exciting. Not a film that begged for a sequel but we got one in 2006 with name-only DVD follow-up BEHIND ENEMY LINES 2: AXIS OF EVIL. This time four soldiers got stuck behind enemy lines while on a secret mission in North Korea. It did not star Owen Wilson or Gene Hackman. I didn't see it either. Now we’re getting BEHIND ENEMY LINES: COLOMBIA. Three guesses what country neither Owen Wilson nor Gene Hackman get stuck behind enemy lines in this time around. I did see this one.

Co-produced by WWE Films and starring World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Mr. Kennedy; 2009 is the year WWE Films sets its sights on the realm of direct-to-DVD cinema and now you don't even have to be one of their main eventers to get a starring role.

I've joked to people in the past that WWE Films appeared to be poising themselves to be the new Cannon Films and if ever a movie felt like it was taken straight from the Golan-Globus playbook it would be Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia. Could just as easily title it DELTA FORCE 5: OPERATION MIC CHECK and nobody would ever know the difference aside from a distinct lack of Chuck Norris.

This time the enemies of freedom are the F.A.R.C., Communist terrorist nogoodnicks who’ve been waging civil war in Colombia for 40 years. After a F.A.R.C. bombing, American special ops are sent on an illegal commando raid on Colombian soil. The raid does not go exactly as planned and the soldiers are framed for committing a terrorist act. Mr. Kennedy and a tag team partner end up BEHIND ENEMY LINES~! trying to rescue a captured friend while proving their innocence, and in the process, protecting the good name of the United States of America. The plot is only slightly more complex than that of THE MARINE.

In case you're unaware you're watching a WWE produced film, our heroic freedom-fighting men are introduced with on-screen graphics denoting such noble character traits as the guy who blew up a teachers iPod, a ladies man who loves Jesus and cleavage, and Mr. Kennedy's character we're told bench pressed a Honda Civic when he was 15. Are we sure this movie wasn't written with Mark Henry in mind?

Mr. Kennedy does okay in his role, not that there's much required of him. He's less the star than a member of an ensemble, practically a sidekick to some other actor I've never heard of. All that's asked of Kennedy is to display a bit of military swagger and look convincing when he stabs a guy in the neck with a knife from behind. His acting here doesn't hold a candle to his performance on Greta Van Susteren when he claimed he'd never taken steroids*, but all-in-all, he's perfectly acceptable in the role of a b-movie action chunkhead. Once he adorns his noggin with a do-rag I momentarily thought I was witnessing the second coming of Chad McQueen.

Steven Bauer of SCARFACE fame has a small thankless role as a Colombian general. I suppose it's still better work than shooting velociraptors in outer space in a Sci-Fi Channel movie I recently saw. You may also recognize Keith David as a commanding officer. He's no stranger to wrestlers turned actors having co-starred with Rowdy Roddy Piper in THEY LIVE. He relegated to barking orders in a command center the whole film so don’t expect to see him in any long back alley brawls.

In addition to casting himself as a counterproductive intelligence officer, Tim Matheson (Remember "Otter" from ANIMAL HOUSE?) directs this action exercise with a workmanlike competence despite every aspect of the film being routine commando movie stuff punctuated by unremarkable action sequences. So instantly forgettable is every aspect of the film that the longer it went on I was already forgetting stuff I'd watched happen minutes earlier.

So to sum up BEHIND ENEMY LINES: COLOMBIA: perfunctory plot, pedestrian action, adequate acting. That's about the extent of it. It's the kind of movie you watch when you have nothing better to watch and right now there are too many better movies in theaters and on DVD you should watch instead. For die-hard Mr. Kennedy fans and, maybe, Tim Matheson completists only!

Now if only WWE Films would get cracking on my ultimate WWE dream movie: a feature film version of the sitcom Perfect Strangers starring Michael Cole and Great Khali.

* Kennedy appeared on Fox News' Greta Van Susteren Show in the week following the Chris Benoit murders where he claimed he was not a steroid user. Twelve days later he was suspended by WWE after testing positive for steroids.